is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
