Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
