I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
