So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
