I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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