I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
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Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
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Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
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