He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
My Higher Power is John Stamos
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
