I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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