im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
The Olympian is in my bed
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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