You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
