My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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