He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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