I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I just gift wrapped bread.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just pee around me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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