What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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