OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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