I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
