I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
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