I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
