She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
His hands were made for my vagina.
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He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
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My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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