A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
