College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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