don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.