This is evicking siegelnvs
This is fucking ridiculous*
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
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you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
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We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night