So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
