dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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