check it out our google latitudes are spooning
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
