please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
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