i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
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Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
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you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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