Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
