Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Who died my cat blue again?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
