I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
