we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize
