she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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