my sisters under your porch take her home
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
