is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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