Hey man sorry I got all grabby
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Randomize
