"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
