They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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