Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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