Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
