? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize