You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
