i don't like sucking hair
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
