I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I did not marry a roomba.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
