You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
