Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize