scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
