I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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