I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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