Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
