I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
