Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
