We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.