i was born a porn star she said
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back