This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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