Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
