his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
