Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
