I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
there is another microwave in the elevator.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
