But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
