Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
