oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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