help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
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