Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
