were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
