Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
17 year olds will be the death of me.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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