Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize