i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
