I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
