I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So gin and wine won't be happening again
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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