We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I'm too high and old for this...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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