well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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