so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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